0:07  
Into a forest, and there's a man sitting by a pond. And there's fire coming out of the top of his head. And the individual asks the man, what what is that? What's that flame coming out of you. And that's representing the love that deep like fiery love, like the heart chakra of love that you feel. It tells you to feel all the love that you feel for everyone, like all your family or friends. Just every single person that you love, feel all of that. And that's when that's when my heart just exploded and that's when I just felt that extreme love for the first time that I'd never felt before. 

1:01  
Hi, everyone, my name is Hayden Mizarros. I'm second year pro con at Ryerson University. I'm from Budapest, Hungary, and I live in Toronto. To me, spirituality has always been part of my life. I was always familiar with the word I just didn't necessarily have a clear understanding of it. When my dad was in his 20s, he was a very ambitious person and he came to North America first to New York. From his love of music he was very interested in the US and Canada. So he came here, and he always just knew that he wanted to raise his kids here. In terms of like Hungary's politics and here and opportunities there versus in Toronto here, but it was it was kind of a tough, it was a really tough move, actually. So I came from a very happy family, very easy childhood, very beautiful, loving childhood. And when we moved here, that's when I was first introduced to financial problems in the family. My parents marriage was kind of on the rocks. When I was about 15, or 16, that's when my parents got divorced. And I was basically my dad's crutch. I was the one he would lean on, not my mom, not my sister, not anyone else. He really only had me. I was the only person which was actually like, the hardest thing I've ever been through. One memory I have is my dad, I was just in my room. My parents were divorced at this point, so I was at my dad's. And no one was home, only me and him. He came into my room and, and he just looked out the window and just burst out crying. And he was like, Katie, I'm scared. And I just looked at this man, you know, he's my dad, he's supposed to be the strongest figure in my life. I looked at him and he was looking at me for help, at me for support. I knew he was heartbroken. And so seeing this man, I was just like, how am I going to help him and I had no idea how I was going to help him. It was just it was eating me up, you know. And one thing I remember was like, I just had a really bad brain fog. Which means you can't really you feel like you can't really process thoughts information, you can't really think the way you should be thinking. It feels like your head is filled with cotton, and just being in high school being in grade 11-12, your like, you're like, man, I really have to study. I need to think about my future. And I just remember thinking about my dad, and I couldn't stop thinking about my dad and I couldn't focus on school. I think just years of like, you know, going on road trips, and them arguing and just being sick of it all and just thinking like, oh, like they're just better off separately, you know. So the hardest part for me was the fact that it was hard for my dad. And the fact that I was so young and literally like my dad would call me and, and he was just in such a bad depressed state. And just listening to him the same conversation over and over about, how am I going to make this work? How am I going to do this? I have no money, like, what am I going to do? After the phone calls, I would just be crying in my room for like an hour. And one time my mom, my mom said, If it gets too much, just let me know. And I couldn't tell her that it is too much.

4:30  
Now, I'm not really afraid. I don't really think about the future too much. I think we get disconnected from our bodies a lot, but but it's like I know I'm here. I'm here now. This is all that exists. Nothing else exists. The future can turn out in whatever way it turns out. There's so many potentialialities, but this is all that exists. So I can have ideas for the future like what I want to do jobs, projects, whatever. But right now, this is this is all that is. But I'm still working on it. I mean, I'm not here now all the time, and I'm not anxiety free all the time, but it's a lot better than I used to be. The summer of 2018 was really, really powerful. That's when I felt like this, you know, this whole spiritual world, when we talk about it. A lot of people who are spiritual kind of feel like it's, it's separate from the material world, you know, like, you go into this world. And then you go back to the real world, and you do your real world stuff and go to work and school and whatever. But summer of 2018, so a year and a bit ago, that's when it's like, it's like the two worlds merged, you know. Suddenly, everything that I do is spirituality, every like everything, you know, material, the material world is just as important as the spiritual world now to me. I'm honestly really, really lucky that I have amazing friends that I've made. Since starting university, my best friend Ashlyn, just people I've met over the summer, people from work, it's like, it's amazing. Like, there's so many people that I can share this with, you know, even if they're not completely into it, but it's just this flow of happiness and trust and love and really powerful energy.

6:21  
I'm Ashlyn Gogan, I'm Hayden's best friends. I think she's been able to fully just come into herself as a woman, and as just a person, and it's just really, really beautiful to see, one of your best friends just transform before your eyes. She had been taking on a lot of other people's worries and stresses herself and in turn that left her anxiety filled. And so I think that her own family's issues, you know, clouded her own thoughts. In turn that that can leave you very isolated, that can leave you unclear. And I think through spirituality, and what she's been able to find, you know, like, I think that it's hard for people, sometimes they, they turned to a lot of different things. But Hadie was able to kind of turn to something really, really meaningful, and something that a lot of people don't really, or are not able to find in their lifetime. In that moment, I can see Hadie's growth.

7:28  
If I didn't have spirituality in my life, I definitely would not be as happy as I am today. It's so simple to me, but I know that it's kind of hard to grasp. I don't want the word spirituality to have this very concrete meaning because it's, it's not like a thing in my life. It's It's my life. It's everything. It started off separate from the material world, it is me just knowing that I'm a consciousness and I'm eternal. And that's all I am and we are all one. I think if someone is spiritual and and that they believe that we're all connected, we're all one. We're all the universe and we have infinite trust and help and support and love. And it's the greatest love I've ever felt. It's beautiful. And I feel it for myself so so strongly, and I feel for everyone else, and it's beautiful. And I've never lived life like this before. Just start focusing on yourself but in a different way. Don't focus on your outside self, focus on your inner self. Grow, like use everything to grow. Be aware of your reactions. Be aware of the people you're around, be aware of what they're telling you Everyone is everyone's a messenger.