0:00 A friend of mine once told me their clothing was like armour And I don't think I've looked at it the same since. In our daily lives fashion is a tool. A tool for self expression. A tool to be a part of something. A tool to make a statement. It's an ever present way to express one's identity. Around the 80s. in Japan, women were feeling constrained by their clothing. And then it happened. Diverging from the appearance expected of women was a new style of expression which celebrated dressing for oneself. A fashion rebellion layered and frills lace, cupcake skirts and big bows and it was called Lolita. Inspired by Rococo and Victorian fashion, with elements of Japanese style to take on a cute and a modest appearance. Lolita provided women comfort in their bodies by allowing them to express the self they felt most confident with. With an empowering message, the style travelled across the ocean, making its way to the west. But it wasn't exclusively women who were affected by Lolita. Though aesthetically most forms of Lolita embrace the feminine, Lolita 's are not just women. Sabrina and Loli both have different stories on how they find comfort in Lolita, especially when one's identity is challenged by society's understanding of clothing. Though confident now in Lolita, Sabrina didn't always feel this way. 1:34 I'm non-binary, but I was raised as a girl. I never really connected with feminine clothes like especially as a child, because femininity was always portrayed as like a weakness in media and society. Whenever I was like forced into a dress, I'd be like hissing and biting and being like, don't make me do this. I remember really specifically being like seven or eight being in Sears with my mom and she's like, you're trying these on. Trying to find a dress for a formal event and like just looking at the mirror and being like, I don't like this. This doesn't feel right, something is wrong, but I don't know what. Like I didn't have the vocabulary to express it. 2:14 I was in high school everything happens all at once, like gender, sexuality, clothes, and I was like, oh. As I was grappling with, what is a gender and do I have one? Do I like need one? I cut my hair super short and that was like the first time I'd ever done some sort of like drastic. That was sort of the beginning of like, I can control how I look based on what I want, instead of what I think others want to see. Because I kept my hair long so I was like, girls do this right? I can't not be a girl I have long hair. 2:57 In maybe tenth grade, I got to wear a Lolita dress like a cheaper one. But I mean, doesn't matter to me. Because I got to actually put it on my body in my bedroom and like look at myself in the mirror and be like, we're doing this, it's happening. That's one of the very few selfies I've taken like, throughout high school at all. I don't really like taking pictures of myself, but I was so jazzed about finally getting this dress on my body. Because like I wanted it for like a good couple months. When I got the package I was already like freaking out. I opened it and saw the dress and I was like oh my god! I put it on I was like so you feel pretty great. The enjoyment that I got way outweighed any kind of nervousness about like, I don't usually wear this. I don't know how to put on makeup. Once you confront your own biases about what clothes are, and who wears what, then you can break the rules and have a fun time with whatever you enjoy. In Lolita I don't particularly care if people think I'm a girl because I know my truth. Finding these totally different feminine clothes, it made me feel empowered in a way that my regular clothes or that other lifestyles hadn't really done. It helps me recontextualize femininity as something that I have control over. And if I want to express that part of myself, I can do it on my terms how I like when I want. Instead of being like I'm gonna wear a skirt because that's what girls do. So my gender became something that I identified with instead of just being thrust upon me and once I started to learn about and accept that part of myself, it became way easier to understand myself. Like my reactions to things and the way I think and how I relate to other people. It's an important part of my life because it's a way that I can express myself on my own terms. It makes me feel like I have a lot more control over how I look and how people perceive me. Because it's like a different kind of way to think of myself and a different way to present myself. That puts me in a different mindset. Especially because I think the clothes are beautiful. The wigs I have are beautiful, and the shoes I have are beautiful. And then I put it on me and then I'm beautiful. And it just makes me feel real good about myself. I like how I act in Lolita. I act basically the same but more confident. When I'm in a full court I feel much like stronger and that's something I've been working on, like for the past couple of years and that's been a big part of it. Because like, I chose all this and I bought all this and I like how it looks. And even beyond that, like yeah, it does make me concentrate more on the positives. Like how I walk is a little bit different because I don't usually wear heels carry myself is really different. Like I feel a lot more straight back then like, yeah, walking with purpose and confidence, instead of just kind of like shuffling everywhere. Before Lolita I didn't really care about what I wore, but after Lolita I started paying attention to how my clothes affected me. All the stuff in my life, like even if I can't control any of that I can mostly control what I wear. And so if I wear something that I really love, then I'm going to have a better day than if I wore like some old garbage that I hate or whatever. So it's a way to recontextualize the way I see myself as I usually when I look in the mirror and like that's a human person, but like in Lolita and like these are good things surrounding my face, which is also good. 6:37 While Sabrina has come to terms with their identity, Loli has never felt dressing in the lead affected his masculinity or gender identity. 6:48 Started wearing dresses 1998 when I was seven. I can still remember it was me asking my sister, can I try your wardrobe? And my sister told me no problem, go ahead. I currently own a little bit more than 80 dresses. In Canadian dollars the reforms lower 30s. Yes, three zero to something like higher 2500s. There's nothing too much behind it. I just like wearing dresses. Just so you look nice. They were beautiful. Years ago, in most of the country, either China or Canada, male Lolita operators were not widely accepted. Many people just didn't understand. I hope to be more people currently understanding that Lolita is just a type of clothing, just a fabric over the body. It does have style, but I don't think there's a strong connection between the style and your gender. As long as you like it, it's lawful to wear them. But yeah, in Lolita, I'm really feeling good, feeling confident. I have to admit that more people are understanding this and general boys feeling confidence in wearing dresses too. Right now I wear Lolita in almost all the cases except in the workplace. So by far I'm feeling super comfortable with a licence to do anything. This weekend, I'm going to pick up a motorcycle and ride it back in Lolita. 8:36 Out and see what's out there. Because it's a really good way to learn about yourself and how you relate to yourself in the world. Even like if you turn out to be non-binary or a different form of like transgender then you should check it out and see how you feel. Because that'll help you live a more authentic life that you'll ultimately enjoy and be more confident in. Anyone can relate to it, like any one.